Starving to Shop

James and I were awakened by knock on the door. The visitors were of course, David, Jackee and Jeff. They arrived at the time we originally planned to wake up the previous day; we forgot to set our alarms. After sluggishly pulling ourselves out of bed, we got dressed and got out and about. The weather was cold as the weather forecast had predicted but the regardless Jeff and James sported the Australian thongs and Jackee and David wore thin jackets. Our plan today was to visit the HEP (Hankyu Entertainment Park) but due to the crazy city streets we ended up walking through a marketplace alley similar to that of the crab street but it was covered up overhead.

The marketplace was contain stores upon stores of Pachinko Parlors and slots, however coupled with massage parlours and what we assumed to be multiple brothels. Most of Japan’s marketplaces are filled with Pachinko Parlours anyways, so the only thing that surprised us was the easily accessible availability of prostitution. We walked completely off the track but found a store that looked strikingly boring. The shop was called Mandarake, an although they sell Hentai and Yaoi items, the store is actually pretty good. Damaged goods are sold at an extremely value-for-money price and David, Jeff and I bought to our hearts content. I got my cheap PSP here for 12060 yen which is $194.75. Although it didn’t include a battery and a manual, and it was scratched a little bit along with its box being partly damaged, the deal was more than worthy as the PSP was a limited edition coupled with limited edition headphones, a buster sword phone chain (that I gave to David for finding this store and this specific package) and the game, Crisis Core. We also bought a couple of figurines here for a decent price.

After getting out with satisfied with our purchase, we headed out of the marketplace and wound up outside of a Shrine. We walked in rather uncouth and ignorantly charging straight in whilst a man slowly walked inside and washed his hands with a metallic spatula thing at a small well. At first, I was unsure what he was doing but we found he was actually praying. After we. well awkwardly tarnished his hands by making him take a photo of us, he actually walked up to a bell and rang it. He then clasped his hands together and began to pray. Feeling strangely unwelcome and a little bit unknowing we left without looking back.

After a short while of walking around randomly and seeing the first KFC in Japan and eating a delicious meal at First Kitchen, we finally found the HEP. Entering the building of 9 floors, we were overcome by like…alot of hot chicks. Like…alot man. Like a lot of hot chicks. But then again, the majority of Japan is just hot chicks man seriously. Like alot of chicks man like alot. And seedy old men who go to maid cafes and lazy fat guys who play at the pachinko parlours but like alot of hot chicks man.

We took a glimpse at all the clothing stores on most of the stores until David and Jackee found a pretty interesting store that sold fob fashion called Semantic. It took us a long time to decide but we want but I’m pretty sure we were all happy with what we got. From what we saw outside, there was a huge ferris wheel overlooking the entire city of Osaka and after buying some shirts we headed to the top level. The ride was 500yen and it was well worth it. The view from the top was breathtaking and although David and I were scared shitless that the Ferris Wheel would screw up and our carriage would break off, we both took it like men and enjoyed the sights.

After the 15 minute ferris wheel ride we headed upstairs to the Sega Joypolis, two levels of just arcade games. Japanese arcades are nothing like you’ve seen before. It’s nothing like Galaxy World. They are always have at least 5 levels with one level dedicated to just prize games (you know, like, plush toys from claw vending machines and toy crane machines), another two to online games (like the pod room Mobile Suit game, and a touch screen card game where you face the cards on the screen and move them around to fight), floors for video games (like general arcade games but much more) and some more pachinko parlours. The Joypolis was so much more as it had some rides forabout 600yen. We were a bit sceptical about the price but we all did pay for the rides we wanted to go on.

The attendant helped us buy a ticket for 5 people which cut the price down to 420yen. David and I wanted to go to a scary Japanese horror house with seals all over it whilst James and Jeff wanted to go to some shooting ride. After arguments, we finally convinced Jackee to come with us and we all bought the ticket. So Jackee, David and I entered the house while we gave the remaining two tickets to James and Jeff. The room was dimly lit with a wooden dinner table and wooden blocks. At the head of the table, up on a wall, a grudge looking woman was hanging there with her arms outstretched. The man who spoke English told us ‘There is no god in this room’ which doesn’t sound so alarming but if spoken in Japanese, it sounds a little scarier. He would’ve otherwise said ‘kono heya ni kami ga nai’ or something along the lines of that. The other two were rather reluctant to put on the headphones but then when they did, they covered their faces as soon as the room lights went out. I felt pretty abandoned and tried to ask them to open their eyes; I didn’t to face it alone. I’m sure David did but Jackee was shit scared. He grabbed onto both our arms as we sat there listening to an older woman walking around carving up body parts. Her voice was devious and scary. From what I translated she wanted to ressurrect her dead daughter with random body parts. She began chanting and the ground began to shake as there were cheap scares involving loud banging and lightning strikes. When hell’s gate was opened, the woman on the wall lit up and pushed a strong wind against us. The room then lit up the blue that makes white look like it’s glowing in the dark. Then the light flashed out. The girl began to speak again saying “Mother, where are you? Where are you…? Mother…” which quite frankly I could barely hear because all of us were screaming. I was continually screaming out ‘What the fuck?!’ just because it was that scary. Finally, the daughter killed the mother. After a dead silence, we hear a knock on the door and preparing ourselves for the worst, we just realised that it was the guy who led us into the room. He promptly lead us out.

After we got out, we looked for James and Jeff who told us it was the shittest ride ever. It was apparently the ‘most douchiest ride ever’. The slow 3D rollercoaster gave them no excitement whatsoever and they sat there extremely bored. The only thing that it achieved was giving Jeffrey a headache. We enjoyed our ride however. Who knew that scary shit like that would be so delightful.

We could see the sky outside darkening even though it was around 4. Nonetheless we went back to Umeda and James and Jeff split ways with us to go eat dinner. Jackee, David and I stopped by the AM PM with the really cute cash register chick and bought some food. We went home and dicked around for a little bit before James and Jeff came back. Jackee then watched Good Luck Chuck on David’s PSP whilst James, David and I rewatched Harold and Kumar 2. Jeffrey played the DS; pokemon.

Everyone then dispersed after the screenings and we all called it a night….at 10 pm.